
Lane is the master of long-distance relationships (with Mrs. While Dave initially vied for Lane’s affections as guitarist of Hep Alien, the coward broke it off when he moved away to go to college. That makes him infinitely better than Jess. While he was a shitty waiter and busboy at Luke’s Diner - still, he's not Jess.

She is but little more than a hapless tool for Jess to use and cast aside. Jess only broke up with her after Dean dumped Rory, proof of his creepy opportunism. The scab-eater known as Jess dated Shane for a bit purely to make Rory jealous, showing there is no depth he won’t sink to, no low he won’t meet, to cause misery and pain. And he looks suspiciously like that nerd from the Sandlot. This asshole is a friend to the walking crash-test dummy that everyone else likes to call "Dean." They get drunk for his bachelor party and made Luke work late. But his favorite film is the Charles Groden classic Beethoven, so he does have that going for him.

One of Lane’s dating misfires, Todd is also friends with Dean. This guy works at the newspaper stand, so at least he keeps Stars Hollow up to date with all of those topical references they casually drop in conversation. She married the soulless husk masquerading as a person called Dean. He flipped out on a woman in public because she once went on a date with Liam Neeson. The town vet helped Babette and Morey’s sick cat. Kirk’s mom, always trying to keep a good Kirk down. Luke’s daughter? What the hell was this shit anyway?Ĭonstantly delivering pizzas to the Gilmore residence. She’s all right, she’s just not Stars Hollow material. While he initially almost followed in the path of busking like the shitty town troubadour, he eventually course-corrected and opened a produce stand in the town square in direct competition of Doose’s Market. Fuck Taylor. The Petes help run the town nursery.įormerly known as the oldest man in Stars Hollow, mourned by all. Never seen, casually mentioned by Lorelai. One of Lane and Zack’s twin children.Ī better mailman than Kirk, but who gives a shit about that? The one-time-mentioned-then-forgotten father of Lane, husband of Mrs. The unseen shoe repairman of Stars Hollow. Never appears on screen. Jackson’s quirky cousin was one of his first weird family members we got to meet when he insulted Lorelai’s height. On the other hand, she kicked him out for being a no-good piece of shit. On one hand, she is partially responsible for the gross monstrosity that is Jess. She shares his blood, she nurtured him in to the human he became. While a person should be judged by their own merits, Dean’s particular brand of suck is so particular and strong that all those associated with him are tainted.

He was okay as the mayor, but then Taylor Doose replaced him. Jess committed destruction of public property, and Dean was a shitty hockey player who deprived the town of a high school championship. Both of these characters are equally shitty. While many in the Gilmore fandom continue to debate which of Rory’s boyfriends was her best match, the point of this article is determining where each of Stars Hollow’s citizens rank. Whether he’s thirsting for power or lording it over the other townsfolk, Taylor Doose is the actualization of evil plaguing the otherwise-charming Connecticut township. Taylor is, without a doubt, hands down, absolutely, the worst person in Stars Hollow. We’ve re-watched all seven seasons of the show to properly assemble the definitive ranking of who is the best, who is the worst, and who really isn't that important in the town of Stars Hollow. Some members of the town are more productive than others, and others are more beloved.

While the show itself has always focused on Lorelai and Rory Gilmore, the titular girls, the sleepy Connecticut community’s prominence became a character in its own right.īut the township would not exist if not for the many oddballs who make it up. With Gilmore Girls returning to Netflix this November, we figured it was time to take a closer look at the fictional town of Stars Hollow and the many citizens who live there.
